Mental Blocks

You know that nagging voice inside your head that tells you you are not good enough or you can't do something. I had a morning filled with voices telling me to sit on the couch. 

It's frustrating, you want to be a better you but sometimes your brain just wants you to sit and eat cupcakes. 

I fought through it this AM. I got up and went running, just did it. I ran 3.17 miles (a 5k!) in 43 minutes. My goal was under 45 so that good, but it was running the first mile then run/walk the rest. My goal, running 3 miles without stopping, I'll get there eventually. 

Anyway back to my metal blocks. So I didn't want to run this morning, not even a little bit but I did and then I had to fight myself to keep going and finish as I continued to encounter things that made me feel, well, like I was fooling myself for trying this. So this is what made me feel like that:

1- This 

 

Some super mom, who kind of looked just like this, hauling ass while pushing her kid in the stroller. (This is some random stock pic off google images, I don't want my neighbors to think I'm weird).  She ran, and she ran fast. I want to do that too. 

2. Then this:

Super fit, hauling ass, pretty chick running also. She never stopped running and looked amazing. Felt self conscience when we crossed paths, twice. 

3. Talking to hubster this weekend and asking him how long it took him to run 3 miles and him telling me, 19 minutes was his last timed 3 mile run, with his fastest ever mile being 5:30. 

Ugh! So now I'm comparing myself to them and I feel kind of pitiful. My 11:44 mile, my running (more like a walking shuffle) slower than molasses, and lack of stamina. All of it made me want to quit, just stop, turn around, walk home and eat some damn bon bons. 

But I didn't. I kept going, I talked to myself, and reminded myself that they weren't always so awesome, they had to start like me, slow and determined. 

I am slow! I do not have a ton of stamina, but I AM DETERMINED. I will be amazing like those girls I saw today. I will stop comparing myself to others, this is my own race. I am only out to beat myself.